Shock, denial, and retreat
Door: Melanie
Blijf op de hoogte en volg Melanie
06 September 2011 | Frankrijk, Parijs
In my last course at the University of Amsterdam (organizational change) I learned that people do not like changes and there exists a model that roughly shows the change process and changing emotions. It says that people enter an anticipation and anxiety phase before the change is happening. Before I moved to Paris I was terrified of how everything would turn out here. Also, I needed time to ‘close’ my life in Amsterdam. After this anticipation phase you will enter the shock, denial, and retreat phase; during the change. This is again totally true for me. It is not as intense as these exact words but I did experience a little shock and I am needing more time (than I thought I would need) to adjust to my new life. Funny enough this all did not count when I was in Atlanta. Probably because that did not feel as much as a real change because I always knew that I was going to get my old life back. After the change—I guess that will come in a few weeks—I will enter the acceptance phase and I am completely sure that I will finally find my rest then :). Also, I still have all the knowledge of how to handle all these difficulties so I have positive feelings about the development of my ‘big change’ ;).
Do not get me wrong; I am still having a wonderful time here. It is just.. bittersweet. I have said it before: I love this city, I love living close to Philippe, and I love that I am starting something new and exciting. However, since I have no idea when I will go back to my home country I am also having some difficulties. The funny thing is that I do not even want to go home that bad, I just like to know what I can expect. Melanie: a.k.a. control freak ;). So currently I am not only improving my French, starting an amazing relationship, starting my Psychology master, I am also ‘stretching my negative personality factors’ :P. It is not easy, but I can be reasonable enough to go for it.
Well, this all might have been a little bit too psychological for you all, but that is what happens when you are reading a psychologist’s blog ;).
Something else that fascinates me is the concept of learning a new language. It is SCARY that sometimes I can be totally lost and then I am not even able to find the right words in English (and sometimes not even in Dutch..). It is AMAZING to be able to understand people more and more and to actually being able to read a magazine. It is FUNNY to discover and understand my French friends more. I do not want to give examples because I am afraid that I will ruin my relationships then and I kind of need them since I am actually living in France now..:P. But sometimes when they are speaking in English they are making some errors that I understand better now that I know how you are supposed to say these ‘errors’ in French. Well, for me (maybe there is the psychologist again) it is really interesting to discover things like that. I would like to add a little footnote here (yes, in the middle of my text:P); before my French friends are going to say anything bad about this, please think about all the errors you hear me making all the time… I still pronounce all the h’s of your French words for example :P.
Furthermore, we got the key of our new apartment!! We are very happy with our own little place. Philippe moved in immediately, I am going to move this Friday. This is my last week of French classes and also my last week with my host lady. However, I decided to book an extra week of (more intensive) classes because I feel like there is still so much more to learn. Since my last blog I did move to B1 but I am definitely not fluent yet.
So, part II of my Paris-adventure is about to start.. And again; I am very excited!!
Do not get me wrong; I am still having a wonderful time here. It is just.. bittersweet. I have said it before: I love this city, I love living close to Philippe, and I love that I am starting something new and exciting. However, since I have no idea when I will go back to my home country I am also having some difficulties. The funny thing is that I do not even want to go home that bad, I just like to know what I can expect. Melanie: a.k.a. control freak ;). So currently I am not only improving my French, starting an amazing relationship, starting my Psychology master, I am also ‘stretching my negative personality factors’ :P. It is not easy, but I can be reasonable enough to go for it.
Well, this all might have been a little bit too psychological for you all, but that is what happens when you are reading a psychologist’s blog ;).
Something else that fascinates me is the concept of learning a new language. It is SCARY that sometimes I can be totally lost and then I am not even able to find the right words in English (and sometimes not even in Dutch..). It is AMAZING to be able to understand people more and more and to actually being able to read a magazine. It is FUNNY to discover and understand my French friends more. I do not want to give examples because I am afraid that I will ruin my relationships then and I kind of need them since I am actually living in France now..:P. But sometimes when they are speaking in English they are making some errors that I understand better now that I know how you are supposed to say these ‘errors’ in French. Well, for me (maybe there is the psychologist again) it is really interesting to discover things like that. I would like to add a little footnote here (yes, in the middle of my text:P); before my French friends are going to say anything bad about this, please think about all the errors you hear me making all the time… I still pronounce all the h’s of your French words for example :P.
Furthermore, we got the key of our new apartment!! We are very happy with our own little place. Philippe moved in immediately, I am going to move this Friday. This is my last week of French classes and also my last week with my host lady. However, I decided to book an extra week of (more intensive) classes because I feel like there is still so much more to learn. Since my last blog I did move to B1 but I am definitely not fluent yet.
So, part II of my Paris-adventure is about to start.. And again; I am very excited!!
-
06 September 2011 - 12:33
Wil:
Mel!
Thanks a lot again!
I'm not finished reading yet, but what I've seen: great again, but Mel: don't you worry: maybe you don't know yet when you will go back to us; one thing you know for sure: when we will go back to you!
Take care, dad -
06 September 2011 - 17:45
Ise :
this is in dutch, so i don't know if that blank space above was for me to write my name anyway, i did.
this is the first time i've read this and i read like 4 past entries haha.
i'n so glad you're learning and that you're so happy about learning another language and living in another country!
and that you have you guys have your cute little apartment!
i promise i'll read this every time you post it on facebook.
te quiero.
ps. i almost cried when i saw your dad wrote something below hahaha -
06 September 2011 - 19:17
Laura:
Hi Mellie,
Nice story from our psychologist :D! I hope you will be in the acceptance phase very soon. But as a control freak I'm wondering if you will find your rest ever ;). I'm very proud of you that you understand and even speak French! It's such a difficult language. So I wish you good luck next week and enjoy your new place together with Phil :D!
Lots of love! -
08 September 2011 - 11:30
Rita:
Hoi Mel het is weer zover leeuk verslag en succes in je nieuwe huisje. -
10 September 2011 - 10:53
Margit! :
Hai lieve Mel,
Hier een berichtje in het Nederlands, want straks vergeet je onze mooie taal nog!
Je woont nu samen, wooooooowwww!! Ik ben benieuwd naar de foto's en al helemaal om het in het echt te bewonderen. Eind deze week heb ik wel een goed beeld of het allemaal gaat lukken, dan breng ik je op de hoogte. Ik mis je! XXX -
12 September 2011 - 20:49
Bernadette:
Mellie!!! Sorry, just read your story... But again.... Loved it!!! Toitoitoi for this last week of your French class!!! I'm also very very proud of you that you actually understand and know how to speak such a difficult language!!! And I'm glad you live together with Phil now! First step of peacefullness :) Can't wait to have a digital tourguide to your appartment!
Big hugs & kisses! -
18 September 2011 - 07:05
Soledad:
Very nice and interesting story Mel. Nobody is perfect. But I know someday your French will be fluent. You will come back to your homecountry for vacation to visit your love ones. I am very happy that you are not toooooooo..far from us compare to me. The distance of the Philippines to the Netherlands is a lot. I am happy for you and proud for what going on with you. Take good care of each other. Wish you all the best. God Bless.
Love you both.
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18 September 2011 - 07:11
Soledad:
Looking forward to see you both on October 7, 2011. Things you badly needed for your appartment are ready to pack in the car. Hugs and kisses
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Je kunt nu ook Smileys gebruiken. Via de toolbar, toetsenbord of door eerst : te typen en dan een woord bijvoorbeeld :smiley
