When I am abroad
Door: Melanie
Blijf op de hoogte en volg Melanie
30 Juni 2012 | Italië, Cesena
These days, I am taking several showers a day, I am barely wearing any clothes, I am working during the night and if I am not working I can only sleep during the least hot hours of the day which is somewhere between 2am and 8am.. That, my friends, is the month of June in the country of Italy.
In my opinion, the best part of living abroad is that you are discovering how you are, what kind of person you are. You can get exposed to completely new things, ideas, concepts, which can give you another view on life. Here in Italy, I have discovered that I definitely only like hot weather when I am on a vacation. I could never live and work my whole life in a climate like this. Therefore, I have decided that I will never complain about cold, bad weather anymore. Maybe this is why Philippe and I took a 3-hour walk through the rain in Paris last weekend ;). Fortunately I had decided to go back to Paris for two weeks to work on my thesis over there. I was ten times more productive over there, while watching the rain outside, then I am over here, while trying to think of something else than ‘I am hot, I am hot, I am h.o.t.!!’.
Another thing that I have discovered is that I changed certain attitudes. After having made international friends several times in my life already, I changed the way of making them this time. You can call it self-protection (the less attachment, the easier the goodbye), efficient (why investing a lot in something that will only last for four months?), or you can call it a happy balance. I love to have friends, international or national. They are very important in my life. However, when you are having most of your friends living far away from you, you start to treat your friendships in another way. Especially since it is demanding quite some energy to maintain friendships at distance because my main tool is e-mail and this is actually just a form of one-way communication. And a friendship requires more than that..
Well, I might have changed the way I am making friends, or the way I am keeping my friendships, I did not change the type of friend I am. And I am very happy with the few friends that I have, and that I will always keep. Even if I will only see them once a year, or maybe even less than that. Because once I get attached to someone, I do not let that friendship break that easily.
But the best thing that I have developed here in Italy is my dignity. I have always had this resistance against media profiles of ‘ideal women’, or even more against all those people around me trying to meet those standards and who give you the feeling that you should meet them too. But not only physical, I was always trying to meet other people’s needs and to fulfill certain expectations of others, instead of my own. I started to get my independency in the US, developed it slightly more back in Amsterdam and then in Paris, but I totally conquered it in Italy. And the funny thing is, is that I realize that most of the people of whom you think that they have certain expectations of you, only have those expectations of themselves. Some people have an innate sense of dignity but I know that I am not the only one that had to make this journey in order to find it. My next step is trying to bring this dignity to the people that are still looking for it..
Studying or living abroad, I still highly recommend this to everyone. It will change your life forever. It will broaden your (view on) life, open your eyes, and it will bring you things that you would not have found if you would have stayed at the same place during your whole life.
In my opinion, the best part of living abroad is that you are discovering how you are, what kind of person you are. You can get exposed to completely new things, ideas, concepts, which can give you another view on life. Here in Italy, I have discovered that I definitely only like hot weather when I am on a vacation. I could never live and work my whole life in a climate like this. Therefore, I have decided that I will never complain about cold, bad weather anymore. Maybe this is why Philippe and I took a 3-hour walk through the rain in Paris last weekend ;). Fortunately I had decided to go back to Paris for two weeks to work on my thesis over there. I was ten times more productive over there, while watching the rain outside, then I am over here, while trying to think of something else than ‘I am hot, I am hot, I am h.o.t.!!’.
Another thing that I have discovered is that I changed certain attitudes. After having made international friends several times in my life already, I changed the way of making them this time. You can call it self-protection (the less attachment, the easier the goodbye), efficient (why investing a lot in something that will only last for four months?), or you can call it a happy balance. I love to have friends, international or national. They are very important in my life. However, when you are having most of your friends living far away from you, you start to treat your friendships in another way. Especially since it is demanding quite some energy to maintain friendships at distance because my main tool is e-mail and this is actually just a form of one-way communication. And a friendship requires more than that..
Well, I might have changed the way I am making friends, or the way I am keeping my friendships, I did not change the type of friend I am. And I am very happy with the few friends that I have, and that I will always keep. Even if I will only see them once a year, or maybe even less than that. Because once I get attached to someone, I do not let that friendship break that easily.
But the best thing that I have developed here in Italy is my dignity. I have always had this resistance against media profiles of ‘ideal women’, or even more against all those people around me trying to meet those standards and who give you the feeling that you should meet them too. But not only physical, I was always trying to meet other people’s needs and to fulfill certain expectations of others, instead of my own. I started to get my independency in the US, developed it slightly more back in Amsterdam and then in Paris, but I totally conquered it in Italy. And the funny thing is, is that I realize that most of the people of whom you think that they have certain expectations of you, only have those expectations of themselves. Some people have an innate sense of dignity but I know that I am not the only one that had to make this journey in order to find it. My next step is trying to bring this dignity to the people that are still looking for it..
Studying or living abroad, I still highly recommend this to everyone. It will change your life forever. It will broaden your (view on) life, open your eyes, and it will bring you things that you would not have found if you would have stayed at the same place during your whole life.
-
30 Juni 2012 - 06:56
Wil Van Woerkom:
Hi Mel,
Again a nice story.
Friendship is not a matter of high frequency in meeting, seeing or talking to each other. Real friendship lasts forever. Real friendship gives you a home-feeling. So the more friends abroad, the more places you can feel 'at home' (despite weather conditions!).
Your first (or 2nd) friend ;) -
30 Juni 2012 - 13:51
Soledad:
Dear Mel,
Thank you for your nice and interesting story!!! Living, studying, spending vacation in abroad is the way how to meet different kind of people with who you can make a friendship. Friends are second family.Weather condition in every country is different. We must accept it. I am looking forward to see you in Cesena, Italy. Your dad and I are leaving on July 6 from Schiphol Amsterdam airport.
Good luck!!!
GOD Bless!!!
Ciao,
mommie xxx -
01 Juli 2012 - 20:24
Laura:
Hi Mellie,
Zelfs als je geen inspiratie hebt, lukt het je toch om zo iets moois op papier te zetten! En dat ondanks de hitte ;).
Ik blijf onwijs trots op je zoals je je ontwikkelt en hoe je staat in het leven. Je bent een erg goede vriendin (ik kan waarschijnlijk spreken voor al je vrienden) en ik ben blij er één van je te mogen zijn :). Ik begrijp helemaal jouw keuzes mbt het maken van vrienden. In balans zijn, is erg belangrijk.
Echt goed van je dat je inziet dat je niet altijd hoeft te voldoen aan andermans verwachtingen. De vraag is denk ik vaak ook of die verwachtingen er wel zijn of dat je dat zelf denkt.
Succes met de laatste loodjes en je verdere ontwikkelingen. Het mooie van het leven (je reis) is, is dat dat nooit ophoudt. En daarmee kijk ik uit naar je volgende blog :).
Dikke kus! -
02 Juli 2012 - 20:00
Celiiiiinne:
I always love your posts !! So well writen! and i'm sure our friendship will never become a one way relationship ;)
ps: I'm pround of you !! and your dignity progress!! -
03 Juli 2012 - 12:43
Suzy:
Well-done sissy! So, bring me some dignity ;) I'm one of your best friends :p
Just joking ofcourse..
Proud of ya... again!! :D
Love you!!
Kisssssssssss
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